RUPERT REVEALED
I have a dog to unload if anyone's in the market.
His tricks include sitting, shaking, coming when he's called and this newly discovered ability: tricking me — for years on end —into believing that Mabel was the mastermind and sole perpetrator of various household crimes and misdemeanors.
When I came home to this carnage today, Mabel did not have a speck of evidence on her.
P.S. This may look like an easy-to-clean-up mess — just get out the vacuum, right? Wrong. That white stuff is flour — flour that has been dampened by the big tongue of a dog eager to consume it. It doesn't sweep up. It's stuck like a hardened paste, like that gunk you use with papier-mâché. I have to figure out a way to get it off without scratching the crap out of my wood floor. I may tan Rupert's hide and use it as a mop, for starters.
P.P.S. If you're tempted to suggest this was my fault for leaving the flour out, zip it.
posted by kc @ 10:04 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Rupert! Did you break the bowls, too? You loveable scoundrel. Come over and chase my lazy cat around.
He looks rather proud of himself.
He broke that green coffee cup in the background — one of my favorites!
I still can't imagine him standing on his hind legs to get the flour, but I'm hesitant to blame Mabel. Do you think it's possible she got it off the cabinet and then was like "WTF? This has no flavor at all." And Rupert was like, "I think it tastes good!"
I think Rupert is looking into the camera and thinking, "Oh, don't mind the mess. Because I love you!"
This is a serious nightmare to get off the floor.
Love me or not, Rupert is on my shit list.
Aagh! Outrageous!
I must agree that Mabel must have gotten it off the counter.
Don't let that cute little proud face fool you! It's a manipulative ploy to eek love out of your darkened heart. Tell Rupert to get a pail and brush and get to work.
(I say this as one in the trenches with you. Tim mentioned my affection for our dogs last weekend, and I admitted to him that I sometimes fantasize about finding them gone, and about how happy I'd feel about that. Love is complicated.)
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Rupert told me that Mabel did most of it, then he licked Mabel's face clean (she promised she would clean his face next, but you know how she is with breaking promises and keeping her tongue to herself).
Now that he knows how difficult it was for you, he's very sorry.
Sorry for the deleted comment. I accidentally clicked "publish" before I had edited!
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