WORKPLACE WISDOM

At our daily meeting:

Boss: Participation in the dunk tank was surprisingly low.

[The dunk tank is an effort to get peon employees to donate to the United Way by paying for chances to dunk a superior employee in a tub of water. You have to hit a target with a softball to trigger the dunking mechanism. I've always found this ridiculous and patronizing, as if a little water would satisfy our proletarian resentment. Wouldn't it be more fulfilling if we could just throw the softballs directly at their heads?]

Me: How much does that dunk tank cost to rent?

Boss: Last year it was $400, but we got a deal this year for $250.

Me: Did we recoup the $250?

Boss: No.

Me: Wouldn't it make more sense to just give the $250 directly to the United Way and forgo our "fun"?

Boss: Probably.

Sally: But wouldn't it make most sense to just invest in our own dunk tank?

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Back in our cubicles:

Jason: This chili sauce they're recalling for botulism has meat in it?

Sally: Yes.

Jason: But it comes in a can.

Sally: Most of your finer meat products do.