OVERHEARD AT THE COFFEE SHOP

I'm in line. Guy walks in. He's avidly greeted by the three people behind the counter and a couple of customers. He seems important in a deliberately understated way. He's wearing crummy cotton sweatpants, but with expensive shoes. He needs a shave.

Guy: We got a lot of booze left over. We've never had this much booze left over before.

Girl behind counter (GBC): That was the best party in the seven years I've been here, maybe because half of downtown wasn't there.

Guy: It was lovely. I'm still beaming, even through this hangover. I knew almost everyone there. It's the first time I didn't have to say to practically everyone, "What's your name and what are you doing at my party?"

GBC: It was seriously fun.

Guy: And there's so much booze left. And it was the actual week of Christmas. Imagine that. A Christmas party near Christmas. I'm not paying for this coffee — in exchange for cleaning up. I think that's a fair trade.

GBC: Go right ahead. It's your coffee.

Guy: The best part was the romantic making out on the balcony. With all the Christmas lights.

GBC: That was romantic. Did you know that guy?

Guy: Not really.

GBC: That's all you did? Make out?

Guy: Yes. It was very Republican.