COMPARATIVELY LITTLE AIR

Elsewhere on this blog, the band WHAM! came in for some criticism. But, you know, I think WHAM! is only half bad. The Andrew Ridgeley half, to be specific.

(I had to look up that dude's name because I only remembered him as the one no one remembered.)

Start rolling your eyes, Rick, but golly gee, there is something about George Michael.

Sure, WHAM!'s breakthrough song, "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go," needed another go go through the typewriter, but you could see hints of genius:

You put the boom-boom into my heart
You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
Jitterbug into my brain
Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same

How can you listen to a grown man sing that and not feel something very primal, something very, I don't know, boom-boom in your brain?

And later in the song, when he says:

You take the grey skies out of my way
You make the sun shine brighter than Doris Day

How did they actually say that out loud and have millions of girls believe they were heterosexual?

How? Genius. That's how.

Anyway, the song speaks for itself. But I was reading today that George Michael got the idea for it when Andrew left him a note in their hotel room that said — of all things — "George: Wake me up before you go go."

Don't you love when someone takes something retarded off a cocktail napkin and parlays it into an international sensation?
That sort of thing impresses my socks off. I mean, you try it. Take some dumb note someone left you and try making millions and millions of dollars off it. It's not as easy at it looks. If you really put yourself into it, you might start a new literary movement, but global fame, I daresay, you'd find elusive.

So WHAM! is not half bad in my book.

I was at Borders today, and I bought my first George Michael CD. I was actually looking at the M's for Joni Mitchell. I bought "Blue" for Beth when we first started dating. And she took it with her when we stopped dating. I wanted to hear it again. Then I spotted George Michael's "Faith" next to it, and for some reason I had to have it.

I had to.

It's one of those albums that when it was popular you were ashamed to like it. You made fun of it for being poppy, light weight. If it came on the radio when someone was with you, you'd turn the station. If it came on when you were alone, you'd turn up the volume.

You know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, lyrics that once struck me as shallow now strike me as rather profound in their transparency, such as, from the title track "Faith":

Well I guess it would be nice
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you

And this, from the plainly titled "I Want Your Sex":

Sex is something that we should do
Sex is something for me and you

Gosh. That is how Mr. Rogers might try to seduce someone. Sex is something that we should do! And I kept listening to it. What does it mean? It means what it says. But what does it MEAN that it can be said so simply?

I thought of how rap music says the same thing, but it's more complicated; it's tinged with machismo and racism and politics and mood and meter. It's not just what it appears to be.

One of the definitions of "shallow" in my dictionary is "displacing comparatively little air," as in shallow breathing, and that's how I like to think of George Michael. Very little air is displaced, both in what he says and in how long you have to spend thinking about it. I'm not touting that as an exclusive artistic end, but there's something to be said for it, even if it's something that displaces comparatively little air.

Another way I was thinking about this is that George Michael puts the happy back in gay.

One song on this album, though, I need help with, because I can't believe it means what it says, and I don't even really know what it says.

That's all I wanted
Something special, something sacred
In your eyes
For just one moment
To be bold and naked
At your side

I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who loves you
Until the end of time

I thought it was sort of a gay anthem, something like: Your own dad, your natural protector, doesn't love you because you're gay, so I'll be your father figure and watch out for you; I'll love you until the end of time, just like your parent should.

But I don't think that was the popular reception of this song, and I think there's a lot more there. Anyone want to weigh in?