TO CEASE TO FEEL RESENTMENT

I saw this church sign on the way to the grocery store. This conservative, hate-mongering house of worship has some dude who, every few days, rearranges the marquee letters on a cheap plastic sign to spell something that passes for clever and uplifting among the congregation. Like, in the dog days of summer, it will say something like "Feeling the heat? Hell is infinitely hotter."

Wit and threat are indistinguishable among fundamentalists, I've found.

Several churches around town have these signs: "No one luvs U like the Lord," etc. They're a combination of cheap sentiment, cliches and Internet shorthand. It's tempting to pull up beside one and append the letters LOL.

This particular church was a ringleader in adding an amendment to our state constitution that for the first time in history DENIED a civil right to a specific group of people — gays — in a public document whose only purpose is to GIVE rights. Gay marriage was already illegal by statute, of course, but that wasn't enough to "protect" heterosexual marriage. I guess next on the agenda will be amending the Ten Commandments to read "Thou shalt not lie with someone whose genitals look like yours."

Oh well. I digress. The gay issue is not the point. (Although, let me say this: I was just in Massachusetts for several days — stay tuned for travel pics — and I did not see any evidence that civilization had begun to crumble since the advent of gay marriage in the Bay State. Of course, three days does not provide a complete picture; to be fair, there could be scads of heterosexual couples whose marriages are crashing and burning directly as a result of gays being allowed to wed, but I did not personally witness that.)

Anyway, the sign at this church on the way to the grocery store read: "Forgive others as quickly as you forgive yourself."

And my first thought was not the usual "Oh, fuck you, you witless hypocrite." No. For once, I found the sign engaging. I even drove around the block to make sure I read it right. Maybe it really said "Forgive others only if their genitals do not look like yours." But no. It really said, "Forgive others as quickly as you forgive yourself."

And my next thought was, "But at that rate, I'd never forgive ANYONE!"

Then I started to panic. What is he trying to say? Is this just some spin on the "Do unto others" rule? Or is it more complex? What if you forgave yourself very quickly and others just as quickly? Like, what if you coveted your neighbor's wife one minute and forgave yourself the very next, then just as quickly you forgave your neighbor for coveting her neighbor's wife? Would that instant forgiveness really be a good foundation for a Christian community? Wouldn't that really promote a kind of laissez-faire attitude that would undermine our whole Judeo-Christian moral infrastructure? I mean, doesn't bearing a grudge have a legitimate place in civil society?

And flip the coin. What if everyone were like me and never forgave themselves anything? Then no one would ever forgive anyone else either. That can't be very Christian. I mean, I'm no expert, but it seems like mercy is pretty high up on the list of New Testament virtues. I can always forgive others more quickly than myself, but that would be disobeying the sign. Or is forgiving "more quickly" just as good as forgiving "as quickly"? Or does "more quickly" have an overtone of pride or some other deadly sin?

[A total aside: The other day, I heard an Ani DiFranco lyric where she compared music to mercy: "It gives what it is and has nothing to prove." That knocked my socks off. That is in a song that begins: "up up up up up up/points the spire of the steeple/but god's work isn't done by god/it's done by people."]

Anyway, does anyone have any insight on this forgiveness sign? Is there some biblical anecdote behind it? Is there a better rule? A better sign?